Her Hands
by SincerelyCarmillaKarnstein
Summary: Emma has a nightmare and accidentally attacks Regina in her sleep. Trigger Warning for physical abuse, sexual abuse, and self-harming.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: What Emma experiences when it comes to having nightmares is what I experience except for being physically violent.** **Trigger Warning for physical and sexual abuse.**

Emma was lying in bed next to her girlfriend and was sleeping peacefully. She had recently moved in with her son's other mother and everyone was happy with the arrangement. She was finally able to call this her home and this place was where she truly felt safe.

The blonde would occasionally reach over to make sure that this wasn't a dream. She pulled Regina close to her and the brunette snuggled as close to the blonde as she possibly could. They promised to never keep secrets from one another, but Emma did have one that she kept to herself.

As a child, she had nightmares that caused her to wake up shaking. She would have to touch something and try to calm herself down. On occasion, she ended up crying quietly under the covers. The worst nightmares for her were when she couldn't tell if she was awake or not. There were times when she became violent and waking her up would be difficult to do. Emma has yet to experience a violent episode with Regina.

In the beginning of their relationship, Emma would always sleep in her new home that she bought after becoming the Dark One. Regina wanted to know why Emma wouldn't stay the rest of the night, but she always found a way to avoid it.

Regina didn't like the thought of Emma leaving during the night because it reminded her of the times when she was with Graham. Her relationship with Emma wasn't just a fling. Although it was hard for Emma to express her feelings, she did reassure Regina that it wasn't a fling for her and that she did care about her.

 **-A Few Weeks Ago-**

" _Emma, if you leave through that window again, then whatever is going on between us is over!" Regina snapped as she tied her purple robe around her waist._

 _Emma turned around and faced Regina, "I hate sneaking around as much as you do and hiding this from everyone. I would prefer to go out the front door instead of the window, but I don't feel like I have much of a choice."_

 _She ran her hand through her hair, "I know we agreed that this was okay, but I can see that this isn't working out."_

" _If that's truly how you feel, Miss Swan."_

" _Don't you dare go back to calling me 'Miss Swan' when I haven't done anything wrong! The reason why I don't want to do what we're doing now anymore is because I want us to be together, officially. I want to be able to hold your hand and walk down the street with you, to give you a kiss on the cheek before you go to work, and to come home to you through the front door."_

" _Are you telling me that you're ready for all of that?"_

" _Yes Regina, I'm ready for all of it."_

 **-Present-**

Regina was happy that she could have Emma in her life more. What she loved the most was that at the end of the day, the two of them would sleep in the same bed.

Regina was woken up by Emma making whimpering noises and she tried to soothe the younger woman.

Emma was becoming violent with her and Regina was doing all she could to keep both of them safe.

Without any warning, the blonde ended up on top of Regina and wrapped her hands around her throat. Emma was choking her.

Regina used her magic to get Emma to release her. Emma landed on the floor and cursed. "What the hell was that for, Regina?" Emma said as she tried to stand up.

The former Evil Queen touched the area where Emma's hands were and winced. She wasn't unfamiliar with this situation since it had happened a few times when she was married to Leopold. He, of course, took pleasure in it.

"You were strangling me and I had no choice but to defend myself." Regina said matter-of-factly. She waited to see how Emma would respond.

Emma turned on the lamp on the bedside table with her magic and looked down at her hands.

She had hurt the woman that she cared for most in the world. This can't be real though. She would never hurt Regina.

The Savior glanced at Regina for a moment and ran out the door. This was the reason why she was so scared of sleeping next to Regina.

What if Regina never wanted anything to do with her? The worst part of it all was that a small part of Emma liked the look of fear in Regina's eyes.


	2. Chapter 2

Trigger Warning for physical and sexual abuse.

Regina remained where she was and turned off the light so she wouldn't wake up Henry.

It all had happened so fast and she wasn't prepared for something like this.

She knew that Emma was nothing like Leopold, but what Emma had done was exactly what Leopold had done to her.

He was a ruthless king and was abusive towards Regina. He always made sure that whatever physical harm he caused her wouldn't leave a bruise on her body. If he did leave a mark, or worse, then he would just tell her to cover it up.

Regina knew that Leopold was a painful reminder of her past. She had told Emma only bits and pieces of what her marriage was like with him.

There were times when he wouldn't see her for days and he would act as though she were invisible to him.

She dreaded the moments when he would come into her room at night. It was always an unpleasant experience for her and she always felt empty afterwards.

She did all that she could to put him off from sleeping with her. At one point, she used a piece a glass to cut herself in order to pretend that her monthly bleeding began. This way, he wouldn't go near her in that state.

Leopold wanted an heir and he would do whatever it took. If that meant that he would have a servant follow Regina and keep track of her monthly bleeding, then that was what he would do.

One evening, she was preparing herself for what would happen when Leopold entered her room. She held her breath as he undressed and made the bed groan as he laid down on it.

When he was finally on top of her and she wouldn't spread her legs willingly, he began to call her foul names. Still, she wouldn't let him do this to her anymore.

He grew impatient with her and decided to make her submit to him by force. His large hands were wrapped around her throat and her air supply was cut off completely.

She was clawing at his hands and tried to get him to release her. Regina knew that he couldn't kill her, but he could torture her as much as he wanted.

"Be a good wife and listen to your husband. You only have two purposes. One purpose is to give me an heir and the other is to be a mother for Snow. Now do as you're told and do your wifely duty."

Regina felt tears silently fall down her cheek as she surrendered. She felt air fill her lungs again and she gasped for air.

After he was through with her, he left her there to cry herself to sleep. This wasn't how a Queen should be treated. This wasn't the life she wanted.


	3. Chapter 3

Trigger Warning for self-harm.

Regina shuddered at the memories that were brought forth. She had to remind herself that she was no longer in his clutches and that she was safe. She looked at Emma's side of the bed and touched it.

Could she forgive Emma for this?

Yes, but it would take some time.

She pictured Emma whimpering beside her in bed and wondered what was causing such a strong woman to make a sound like that.

Emma was still getting used to being wanted and loved by anyone let alone by someone who she was in a relationship with.

Both women had been through an ordeal and had conquered whatever challenges they faced head on.

Regina had no doubt in her mind that she would have bruises on her neck in the morning. She was an expert at covering them up. All she had to do was make it through the day without anybody noticing.

x x x

On the other side if town, Emma was in the house that she bought and was lying in the bed. She wanted to hide under the covers, but knew that it was useless. Instead, she used her fists to hit the headboard.

Each time her fists came into contact with the wood, the disgust she felt inside was slowly being replaced by pain.

Being in physical pain was something that Emma could deal with.

She didn't know how many times she had punched the headboard, but it was enough to cause her skin to bleed.

The blood was staining her white comforter, but she didn't care.

What she had done was inexcusable, even if she wasn't in control of herself.

She finally stopped what she was doing, rested her head against the headboard, and cried.

She felt so utterly broken and didn't want Regina to see her like this.


	4. Chapter 4

Trigger Warning for self-harm.

Regina woke up and looked at the empty space where Emma would sleep. It was no surprise that she hadn't returned.

The brunette began to get ready for her day as though nothing had happened.

When she made it downstairs, Henry was eating his bowl of cereal and looked up at his mom.

She was surprised to see him awake since he normally wouldn't be awake for a few more hours.

She made her way to the kitchen to make herself a pot of coffee and brought her cup of coffee with her. She sat down across from him.

"Good morning Mom, you don't look so well. Are you sick?"

"Good morning Henry, and I'm not sick. I didn't sleep very well last night, that's all."

"Is Emma coming down for breakfast? She usually comes down a little bit after you."

Regina raised an eyebrow, "How would you know what time Emma eats breakfast?"

"Mom, it's obvious that Emma doesn't go back to her place. She doesn't have to sneak out either because I can hear her. You two are sometimes loud."

Regina cleared her throat, "I will let her know that she can use the front door from now on. I promise that you won't be disturbed at night by us."

Henry let out a sigh of relief, "Thank you."

He was looking at his mom's clothes for the day and noticed that she wore a small scarf around her neck. It went very well with her outfit.

"I really like your scarf, Mom. It looks really good on you."

Regina smiled a little and touched it for a moment before moving her hand away.

"Why thank you, Henry. I might have to wear them more often then."

Henry smiled, "I'm going to get ready for school now, okay? I'll see you after grandpa takes me to the barn to take care of the horses."

She nodded, "Alright Henry, see you when you get home.

x x x

Emma woke up with searing pain in both of her hands. She opened her eyes and focused on her knuckles. There was dry blood on her knuckles with cuts all over them. It seemed that she did a number on herself last night.

Regardless of how much damage Emma had done to her hands, it wasn't even close to making up for what she did.

Her body was sore due to sleeping in such an uncomfortable position. She was so spoiled since she was able to sleep in Regina's bed. It was way better than the bed that she was currently sleeping in.

She stretched and found clothes that were left in the drawers in her bedroom. She wore a t-shirt with a hoodie along with her skinny jeans and boots.

It would be easy to heal her hands, but she wanted to punish herself. The pain would be a constant reminder of last night.

She called the station to let her dad know that she wouldn't be coming in today due to not feeling well. Then, she headed out the door to go straight to Granny's for breakfast.

She thought about how Regina would make her breakfast in the morning when Emma would come by after sleeping at her place. That was going to be something she was going to miss besides Regina herself.

All she could do now was to figure out how to approach Regina. She wouldn't be surprised if she ignored her completely or might go back to keeping Henry away from her. She highly doubted that Regina would do the latter since they agreed to keep Henry out of their relationship.


	5. Chapter 5

Regina was on her way to Granny's instead of making herself breakfast since she has always hated being alone in her house. When Emma dropped by, the house would seem more like a home.

She felt a raindrop on her shoulder and picked up her pace since she was not getting soaked.

She arrived just in time since the rain started as soon as she entered Granny's. There weren't many people today and she saw someone with a hoodie on hunched over a large cup of coffee.

Regina was well aware who it was the moment she saw those knee high boots and skinny jeans.

The brunette recalled how her hands had traveled down the blonde's body. She imagined her fingers curling in the belt loops to pull the other woman closer to her.

There was no way that she could confuse Emma's ass with anyone else's.

Regina was grateful that Emma hadn't noticed her yet. She got Ruby's attention and Ruby went to get her meal ready. She sat in a booth that was as far away from Emma as possible.

x x x

Emma was using her coffee mug to warm her hands. Granny looked at Emma, "You look like Hell, Sheriff."

Before Granny could see her hands, Emma pulled down her sleeves. Granny could smell the dry blood on the Sheriff's hands, but made no comment about it.

"I didn't sleep very well last night." Emma said quietly as she resumed putting her now covered hands around the mug again.

"You aren't leaving here without something in your stomach and a bear claw doesn't count as breakfast." Granny said.

She knew better than to argue with Granny.

"I'll have two eggs and toast."

Granny didn't move, "And what else?"

Emma frowned, "That's all I want."

"You need a bit more to eat. I'll put in a side of bacon and give you a big glass of orange juice. You don't look so well and I don't think coffee is the best thing for you right now."

Emma held onto her coffee protectively, "I need this, Granny. It's the only thing that is keeping me from falling on my face."

Granny nodded, "Fine, but don't expect any refills." As she said this, she put a large glass of orange juice in front of Emma.

"You might not be my granddaughter like Ruby is, but that doesn't mean I won't take care of you just like I take care of her."

Granny went to the kitchen to prepare Emma's breakfast and Ruby came out with another coffee for her best friend.

Before she had the chance to put it down, Granny barked, "If you give Emma that coffee, then it'll be a busy weekend for you, pup!"

Ruby sighed, "Sorry Em, I tried."

Emma chuckled, "I wouldn't want you to risk your weekend with Kansas."

Ruby went back into the kitchen to bring Regina's breakfast out to her. She put it down on the table.

"Anything else I can get for you, Regina?"

Emma froze at the mention of Regina and heard Regina respond with, "No thank you, Ruby."

"By the way, you look like a badass with that new scarf!"

"I will make sure to wear them more often since Henry also likes them."

Emma cringed at the mention of the scarf since she was the reason it was there in the first place.

Granny came out and she kept an eye on Emma as she began to eat her breakfast.


	6. Chapter 6

Regina ate her meal in silence and kept touching her scarf every once in awhile to make sure it was still in place. She had finished her meal and dabbed the corners on her mouth with a napkin. Even now, she always made sure that she was still considered prim and proper. There was a sound of a chair scraping as she stood up to go to her office and left a good tip for Ruby, like always. She walked passed the blonde without even a glance towards her and continued to walk with confidence. All that Regina needed was to have the appearance of being put together, despite that being far from what she was. She held her head high as she walked out the door without looking back.

Emma, on the other hand, was focusing on the food before her. She knew that it was delicious, but it tasted like nothing. The only reason she even was bothering to eat was because she didn't want a werewolf to act like her mom. She already had one of those and one of them was enough. She heard a chair scraping against the linoleum floor and her head immediately turned in that direction. Regina was leaving and this was the first time that Emma was really able to look at her. The sinking feeling in her heart was still there as Regina walked by her as though she wasn't there in the first place. The blonde felt her heart began to break even further with every step that Regina took towards the door. The sound of the bell ringing was the final thing that caused her heart to shatter completely.

Regina finally reached her office and sat down at her desk while doing all she could to concentrate on the paperwork before her. Her hands moved while holding the pen, but her mind was constantly drifting to what had happened between her and Emma. She knew that Emma didn't mean it, but that didn't stop the way that she felt. Emma loved her unconditionally no matter what and had accepted her, even if she was the Evil blonde woman showed the brunette love every second that she could through her words and actions. It was tearing her apart, but she had to distance herself from Emma for now. This wasn't something that could be fixed with a simple apology.

Emma finished her breakfast and left as soon as she could before Granny could say anything else to her. Her feet were leading her towards Regina on their own and she didn't bother stopping them. She had to face Regina eventually and if they continued like this, she feared that things would always get worse. She was madly in love with Regina and had always wanted to someday make Regina her wife. She saw the images of her marrying Regina start to fade away.

 **x x x**

Regina was no longer able to continue focusing on her paperwork that she had to completed. Thankfully, she had completed more than she needed to for the day, so she would have less to worry about when it came to her job as Mayor of Storybrooke. She was getting ready for lunch when she received a phone call saying that someone was at the door. Regina didn't have to look up to know who it was that wanted to speak to her. She saw the familiar silhouette of the woman that had stayed by her side no matter what.

Emma typically would be the one to just walk in like she always did, but the blonde hesitated when she had her hand gripping onto the door knob. She took a deep breath and knocked just loud enough for Regina to hear. She waited a few moments and was continuously wrestling with herself to walk away. She was going to stay and try to work things out with Regina, no matter what. She couldn't imagine a day without the brunette and she wasn't going to start now.

The brunette had walked towards the door and her heels made a clicking noise as she did so. She saw Emma slightly back away from the door. Regina opened the door and was looking directly into the blonde's green eyes. There were so many emotions reflected in those eyes. The blonde stood in the doorway and didn't make any sudden moves. Regina took a few steps back which allowed Emma to make her way into the office. The door closed with a click behind them.

Emma was facing Regina and the older woman had her arms folded across her chest. The brunette was the first to start speaking, "Emma, I had some time to think about what had happened last night and I want you to know that it wasn't your fault. You ran without giving me any explanation and it felt like you expected me to fill in the gaps on my own. How am I supposed to respond when I don't even know what's going on with you?"

The blonde let Regina's words sink in and it took her a few minutes to answer. "We both know that running away is what I do best, Regina. It's something that I had been doing all my life until I had met you. It's not something that I can suddenly let go of. I have been doing everything to try to separate myself from it. I do believe you when you say that you understand that it wasn't my fault. I should have given you an explanation because you deserve that."

Emma saw Regina's arms begin to relax and she moved them to her side. "I never discussed my nightmares with you because I wasn't having them when I was with you. It was like you were protecting me from them when you slept next to me. I didn't want to take the risk of a nightmare happening when I was with you, so I thought it was best for me to sleep in my own bed."

"Emma, I know that you meant well, but you can't make those decisions for me. I appreciate that you wouldn't force me to tell you about my past, so I did the same for you, up until now. I need to know what happened in your past to cause you to have such nightmares like this. Since it has lead you to become violent…."

Regina paused for a moment before saying, "This probably will take a while, so we might as well sit down and talk." Regina sat down at her desk while Emma sat across from her in a chair. "I want you to take your time, alright?" Regina said while trying to be reassuring.

Emma nodded her head and did her best to relax. This was going to be the first time she actually told anyone about her nightmares and how they came to be. As hard as this was going to be for here, she had no choice to not tell Regina after what happened. Emma shifted in her chair and began to start telling Regina everything.


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: It was easier adding my own fears into the fic, but it was harder trying to connect it to Emma's past.**

 **I wanted to thank XeRemma12 for helping me figure out how to continue this fic.**

 **There might be inaccuracies when it comes to Regina dealing with what Emma had done to her. If there are, then please let me know, so I can work on it.**

 **SPOILER WARNING: If you haven't seen Season 5, Episode 10 of Once Upon A Time "Broken Heart", then please skip the** _italics_ **scene. This is taken directly from the episode.**

 **This is the scene I'm referring to:** watch?v=7KeB_usgnRc

 **This will be the** **only** **time that I mention CaptainSwan. The conversation is important, so this is why I included it.**

Emma was trying not to show how anxious she was when it came to telling Regina what caused her nightmares. Regina had shown her vulnerable side and it was only fair that she did the same.

"I have a fear of abandonment. When I was in foster care, I had been sent back so many times that I panicked when someone new wanted to take me in. I knew it wouldn't be long before they returned me. So that's why I don't have a lot of personal belongings.

One night, I was with a wonderful couple that had kept me longer than anyone. It was the first time I had a nightmare. When my foster mom tried to wake me up, I accidentally hurt her.

My foster mom was completely devastated when I was forced to go back into foster care, but her husband made it clear that I was a threat. As the years have gone by, they have been worse. If it's bad enough, I wake up sweating and shaking while I try not to cry."

Emma ran a hand through her hair to compose herself again.

"I had been so worried about you finding out about my nightmares."

Regina slowly reached over and held both of Emma's hands in hers. Emma froze at the realization that Regina was _holding_ her hands. The blonde looked down at them and back at Regina. Emma had seen how Regina was giving her a comforting smile.

"I know that wasn't easy, but I appreciate it that you told me."

Regina was getting the full picture of what Emma had gone through as a child since the younger woman had grown up in foster care. The former Evil Queen hadn't known that the Savior had been sent back to the foster care so many times. She had heard that it tends to happen. She couldn't fathom what it must've felt like when Emma was a little girl, let alone when she was older.

The blonde's fear of abandonment did worry the brunette. She never felt trapped in her relationship with the other woman. Although they did fight, there wasn't a moment where Regina had feared for her safety until Emma's episode.

She hated the thought of the blonde woman having to suffer alone when it came to her nightmares. It was more than reasonable why she chose not to spend the night with Regina. It was an unsettling feeling though that her nightmares of abandonment caused her to accidentally lash out at her foster parents.

"I know that I have attachment issues and that a lot of it was due to being abandoned as a child. I honestly didn't know if I could grow close to another person, but then you and Henry came into my life. Everything had changed for me and all the love you show me daily makes me feel like I don't deserve it. In the back of my mind, I feel like I'm going to fuck this up somehow."

Emma inhaled sharply, "I'm afraid that if I get too close to anyone, then something will eventually happen and they will leave me. So I tell myself that I need to leave them first."

Regina felt her heart break for Emma when she confessed this to her. The blonde woman told her how when Hook became The Dark One, he had said such cruel words to her.

 _Emma was in the attire that she wore as The Dark One. Her hair was white and in a tight braided bun that was such a contrast compared to her luscious curly blonde hair that she wore down. She wore a long leather jacket that went to her waist with tight dark pants that clung to her toned legs._

 _After Hook had stunned Merida, Emma sat up on the loveseat as he walked towards her._

 _As he approached her, he said, "A broken knee is nothing on a broken heart. Isn't that right, Swan? What is this? I expected to find you and the heroes huddled over a mountain of books, trying to figure out my terrible plan."_

 _She stood up as he approached her so that she was face to face with Hook. This was not the man she once had feelings for, but The Dark One's version of him._

" _That's not why you're here. You're here because you still have feelings for me."_

 _The next sentence Hook spoke, Emma could've sworn that he was actually being sincere._

" _Oh Swan. Of course I still have feelings for you...Anger. Hatred. Disappointment."_

" _You don't mean that."_

 _Hook continued on explaining that she was no longer going to distract him and that he was a free man. Emma tried to tell him that he didn't mean what he said._

 _Hook said, "Well, you're only a pawn if you don't know you're being used. As long as I get what I want, I don't give a damn about the rest. And you off all people should understand that."_

 _Emma replied, "Everything I did, I did for you."_

" _Well, you see, that's your problem, Swan. You're so afraid of losing the people that you love that you push them away."_

 _Hook leaned in closer to her while her body stiffened as his words washed over her._

" _And that's why you'll always be an orphan. You don't need some villain swooping in to destroy your happiness. You do that quite well all on your own."_

 _The expression on her face was full of anguish. "Why are you doing this?"_

" _Because...I want to hurt you...like you hurt me."_

Regina was brought back to the present when Emma had removed her hands and folded them in her lap. She was gripping her hands together so tightly that her knuckles were turning white. Regina wanted to comfort her a little more but hesitated because she saw that Emma was retreating into herself.

"Emma…"

The blonde was moving her chair away from Regina and tried not to scrape the floor as she did. This vulnerability wasn't a good look for Emma and the more that she sat with Regina, the more she felt like she was drowning in her memories.

She put her feet up on the chair, wrapped her arms around her legs, and rested her chin on the top of her knees. She was trying to protect herself, not from Regina, but whatever she was bringing out in her.

This wasn't a nightmare by any means, but it felt like one to her. The worst part was that she was fully awake and those scared her the most. She couldn't look up at Regina, so she focused on her boots. Maybe if she stayed like this for a little longer, Regina would leave her alone. The walls were coming back up and she felt her heart closing up as well.

Regina sat patiently watching Emma as she made it clear that she didn't want to be touched. Any wrong move and it would send Emma running out the door. If she was lucky, Emma would be in a safe place. If not, then she would have to go look for her.

She hadn't seen Emma do this except a few times. The first time this happened, Regina tried to comfort her, but Emma remained where she was, like a statue. She realized now that Emma was trying to not lash out at Regina.

Emma closed her eyes and tried to shake her head as though it would cause those painful memories to go away. She had already enough people in her life and a part of her was regretting letting Regina into her life. Even though in her heart, she knew it wasn't true, her mind was convincing her otherwise.

She was thankful that Regina had raised Henry because she knew that she wasn't ready to be a mother. She didn't think that she was still "fit" to be Henry's mother, even today. She was in fight or flight mode and she was forcing herself to stay there. She didn't want Regina to get the wrong idea, but it seemed like the damage had already been done.

Regina heard the phone ring and she did her best to ignore it so she could focus on Emma, who was falling apart before her eyes. It was like anything could set Emma off at a drop of the hat. IT was like she could barely recognize the stranger before her.

The phone continued to ring, so reluctantly, Regina went to answer it. As she turned her back to walk to her desk to answer it, the damn thing had stopped ringing as soon as she picked it up. She dropped it in its cradle and as she glanced up to where Emma was sitting, the door slammed shut.

Regina wasn't one to let her rage control her, but at that moment, she threw the phone against the wall next to the door. It shattered into a million pieces, showing all of the contents within it. If she hadn't answered that phone, Emma would still be here.


	8. Chapter 8

Emma had to get the hell out of the room with Regina and was grateful that the phone had rang. She didn't want to remain in such an awkward position with Regina. Sure, at first, things were working out for her. Then, her emotions did get the better of her, and she was running away again. She was the best at running away from situations and people. The thought coursing through her mind were to keep running. It didn't matter that she had no idea where she was going. Her feet were what was guiding her, not her heart this time.

Everything was flashing before her eyes the harder she ran. Her breathing was becoming ragged the faster she going. She heard her parents shout at her to get her attention, but she ignored them. It wouldn't have surprised her if Regina had called them so they would stop her.

Nobody was going to stop her this time.

Without any warning, she ended up in the forest again. The trees were surrounding her and they were closing in. The daylight that had filled the sky earlier had disappeared and darkness was what covered the sky. The blonde had trouble seeing, so her face and hands were getting cut and scraped as she ran. She didn't care that it hurt.

She lost her footing and tripped over what must've been a large root. She sprawled onto the dirt and felt some of it end up in her mouth. She spit it out and pounded the ground with her fists as she let out a sound that was foreign to her. It sounded more animalist than human.

The blonde struggled to get up and felt the strain on her arms as she did so. There was stinging coming from her face, hands, and arms. It wouldn't have surprised her if she was bleeding a little from her wounds, but the pain was welcoming to her. It felt like that pain was the thing that she was able to feel at this moment. Otherwise, she would be numb and paralyzed by the thoughts racing through her mind a mile a minute.

It was like she was in a trance as she continued to sprint through the forest. She panicked when she felt the ground disappear from underneath her. Emma had forgotten about that damn cliff in the middle of the forest where Regina had taught her how to control her magic.

Would her magic work while she was in this state? Oh gods, what if this was it? She was falling farther and farther down. She could just imagine how painful it would be for her body to come into contact with whatever was below her. She wasn't ready to go!


	9. Chapter 9

Regina used her magic to reverse the damage she had done to her phone and watched it return to her desk. She wasn't one let fear to plague her mind, but she felt something was terribly wrong with Emma. She had to stop her from doing whatever wreckless thing she was about to do to herself.

The former Evil Queen had a puff of purple smoke envelope her as she transported herself outside. She had her cell phone out and hadn't even had a chance to dial the number before she heard Snow's voice.

"Regina, what's happening? I saw Emma running in the street and she seemed very distraught!"

"I know Snow, listen to me, I…"

"No, you listen to me. If any harm comes to my daughter because of something you did, I will never forgive you."

"That doesn't sound like a very Snow-like thing to say."

"I am her mother above all else."

The brunette wasn't able to respond before Snow had hung up. She didn't have to look up to see Snow and Charming trying to chase after their daughter. She was looking up at the sky and thought of how unsettling it was thinking of Emma being alone in the dark. Where the hell was she going?

Regina was behind the wheel of her 1988 Mercedes-Benz and flung the door open as she easily caught up to Snow and Charming. The two joined Regina and they sped off in the direction that Emma was headed.

As she drove, Regina was even more anxious than before. She didn't have time to use a location spell since it took too much time, so she just went with her gut. Right now, it was leading her to the woods.

She stopped her car with a loud screech and didn't care if it had damaged her tires.

"Be more careful, Regina, you could've killed us!"

"Shut up Snow." Regina snapped.

"Ladies, let's be reasonable here and…"

Both women turned to him and shouted, "Shut up!"

The three of them stepped out of the car and Regina looked wearily towards the woods.

"Charming, it's so dark. What if Emma's hurt?"

Charming tried to comfort his wife by putting a hand on her shoulder, "Snow, we'll find her."

"We don't have time to stand here and comfort each other. Emma's in danger and we have to find her…" Regina didn't have time to finish her sentence before she went in the woods without looking behind her to see if the Charmings were following her. Her heels made it painful for her to trudge through the dirt, but was putting the pain in the back of her mind. Emma was her priority.

She used a fireball to light her way and left floating fireball orbs behind her so that the Charmings could easily follow her. Regina was frantically looking in every direction for any signs of Emma. She barely avoided a large root and saw how there was a shape of a body in the dirt.

Regina had cursed under her breath and used magic to change her heels into flats so she could make more progress. She was moving so fast that the Charmings weren't able to catch up with her. They were yelling to get her attention, but she kept going.

Suddenly, she was at the edge of the cliff and she saw a form falling.

"Emma!" Regina screamed.

The Charmings finally caught up with Regina, but all they saw was her jumping off the cliff.

"Regina!" Snow shouted as she clung to Charming.

There wasn't anything either of them could do but wait.


	10. Chapter 10

Regina was free falling into the darkness and lit a fireball so that she could see what was ahead of her. She let the fireball go and it hovered next to her as she brought her arms to her side to fall faster. It seemed like time stood still as she fell, but then she saw a flash of blonde hair.

Emma couldn't believe her eyes as she saw Regina falling down towards her. She held out her arms to her and Regina held onto her tightly. The former Evil Queen was so emotionally exhausted that she knew that she couldn't use anymore of her magic.

"Regina, I…"

The brunette pressed her finger against the blonde's lips to silence her.

What Emma didn't see was that she was about to hit the sharp rocks that were just a few seconds away from impaling her.

"I love you, Emma Swan. Don't you ever forget that."

"I love you too, Regina."

"Close your eyes, Baby."

The sound of their bodies finally colliding with the ground echoed throughout the forest.

Emma was the one that felt the sharp rocks impale her first. At the speed they were falling, there was no time for her to prepare herself for it. As soon as the point hit her back, it went right through her with ease. There was blood spurting from her mouth and landing on Regina's face.

The sharp point had pierced through Emma's heart and passed right through Regina's. The agony on Emma's face was the last image that Regina saw. It had passed through Regina and then it was over.

There was no more pain for either of them. True Love had won out even if they didn't reach their happy ending in this life.


	11. Chapter 11

Emma was trying to let her mind go blank. She heard her name being called out, but from who? Where was it coming from? She was trying to come to terms with the fact that she was going to die.

She felt arms surround her and pull her close. She was confused, but felt her body relax when she smelled the perfume, the scent of honeysuckles. Regina was the first person she thought of. Of course this would be fitting. She would be thinking of Regina, the woman she loved and had abandoned before stupidly falling off a cliff.

 _Fucking brilliant, Swan._ Emma thought. There were so many things left unsaid. She felt like she had no way out, but the reality was, that she did. Regina had been there for her through it all and was still with her after this whole ordeal.

Emma locked eyes with Regina, who she believed to be an illusion that her mind was causing her to see. "I'm sorry, Regina…"

Regina put a finger to her lips, "Don't talk, Emma."

As much as she would have refused, she listened. She didn't want her last moments to be arguing with this fake Regina. The blonde felt comforted as she saw purple smoke, Regina's magic.

To Emma, it represented how Regina's love for her was always around her body, comforting her when she was at her weakest.

The truth was that Regina had actually wrapped her arms around Emma and there was purple smoke enveloping the both of them. She had barely reached Emma in time before she hit those sharp rocks at the bottom.

The two women collapsed at the top of the cliff and the Charmings helped them up. Snow had tears in her eyes as she clutched tightly onto both women. Emma was still not fully aware of her surroundings, but she did feel something wet falling on her face and warm bodies pressing against her.

"How could you just risk your life like that Regina?" Snow was softly scolding her as she hugged her too. Regina felt a bit awkward that Snow was so close to her. She would've untangled herself from the embrace if she wasn't the reason why Emma was able to hold herself up.

"I would do anything for Emma, Snow, you know that."

All the anger that Snow had felt toward Regina had vanished in an instant. Charming looked very relieved at the sight of the three women. He cleared his throat, "We should get Emma home." Regina tried to reassure herself that everything was okay. She had just got Emma back, she didn't want to let her go.

Regina reluctantly let Emma go and Charming carried Emma in his arms as if she were a little girl. He held her protectively against his chest as Regina and Snow followed behind him. The fireballs were still lit, so they followed it.

The former Evil Queen started the car and headed back to Snow and Charming's apartment. She kept glancing in the rearview mirror to keep an eye on Emma while Snow kept quiet despite wanting to scold Regina for taking her eyes off the road.

Charming was out of the car before Regina could put the emergency break on. He made it inside the apartment and laid her down on his and Snow's bed. He stayed out of the two women's way as they rushed to her bedside. Regina gently placed her hands on Emma's injuries and healed them.

After everyone knew that Emma was safe, Snow made hot cocoa for all of them. Regina wasn't the biggest fan of hot cocoa, but while drinking it, she felt a bit closer to Emma. She glanced at Emma, who lay still on the bed.

Was Regina jumping off a cliff dangerous?

Yes.

Was she not thinking at that time?

Yes.

If she hadn't, Emma would be dead instead of lying safely in the bed before her.

Snow and Charming looked at Regina as the three of them sat on the island in the middle of the kitchen.

Snow was the one to speak first, "Regina, I want to apologize for shouting at you before."

Regina nodded while taking a sip of her hot cocoa.

"If it wasn't for you, Emma would be…" Charming couldn't even finish the sentence. He cleared his throat as he tried not to cry.

"Yes, but Emma is safe now and that's all we need to think about."

Snow sat next to Regina and did something so out of character for her. She reached over to hold Regina's hands in hers.

"I know that you and I never have really seen eye to eye."

"You mean before or after you killed Daniel?"

"Regina…"

The former Evil Queen sighed, "I apologize, it's been very rough for me."

"Our daughter almost died, so it's been rough for us too."

Regina bit her lip, "She's my True Love, Snow., my happy ending. I can't live without her the way that you can't live without Charming."

"As much I wished that it weren't real, it is. I just have to come to terms with that."

"Emma's a grown woman, Snow, she can make her own decisions."

Charming sat in silence still drinking his hot cocoa as though as he was worlds away from his little kitchen.

"I want her to stay here for now, Regina. I feel better knowing she's with her family."

Snow paused a moment, "I mean, a part of her family. You and Henry are her family too."

Regina did her best to keep herself in line. It was the first time that Snow referred to her as part of the "family".

"I'm going to call Dr. Whale and see if anything can be done."

Regina walked outside of the apartment to make the phone call and Dr. Whale came over a few minutes later to look over Emma.

Dr. Whale finished looking over Emma, "Well, she has been through an ordeal. I don't even have to ask what happened to know that she's beyond exhausted. You said she was injured before…?"

"Yes, I healed her minor injuries with magic."

Dr. Whale nodded, "Good, that saves me a lot of time with bandages and the like. She needs a lot of fluids and rest. I'll be back in a few days to check up on her."

"Thank you, Dr. Whale."

He put a hand on Regina's shoulder before leaving the apartment.

Regina pulled a chair over to Emma's bedside and sat in it while holding her hand.

Snow and Charming did their best to stay by her side as well, but they eventually went to bed.

Regina, on the other hand, remained where she was. There wasn't a chance that she was going to leave Emma again. She watched the clock on the nightstand and did her best to remain awake, but sleep overtook her.

Hours had turned into days. All three of them were trying to busy themselves and once Henry found out, he didn't want to leave Emma's side either. They had to transfer Emma to the hospital, so she was lying in a hospital bed surrounded by tubes. This always made Regina uneasy because it reminded her of the time that Henry was in Emma's place.

"Henry, you need to go to school."

"NO!"

"Henry, please…"

"No Mom, I can't leave Ma now. She needs me."

Regina sighed, "Henry, she would also want you to get your education. You know how important that is to her."

"Why do you get to stay here? You run the town!"

"I'm going to work and Charming will be here watching her. She's safe."

Henry squeezed Emma's hand, "Ma, I'll be back as soon as I finish classes. Please don't wake up before I get back!"

Snow was leading Henry out the door and Charming sat down next to Emma's bed in an uncomfortable chair. Hospitals made him feel uneasy since he had woken up in one and Snow was the reason why it was bearable.

"I'll call if anything changes, Regina."

Regina gave one long lasting glance at Emma before going to work.

She had just arrived when she stared at the stack of papers on her desk. What was the point in her filling out these papers if there wasn't her Sheriff to fill them out and screw them up like usual? It wasn't the same without Emma.

Yes, Emma was the type to drive her nuts when it came to her job, but she was also very good at it. She didn't want to admit that she loved seeing Emma in her "uniform". She kept expecting the blonde to walk through the door in her hideous red jacket and have that beautiful smile on her lips.

Regina kept replaying the conversation they had together in this very office only a few days ago. Each time, she wished she had done something more than just let Emma shut herself out. She would reach out to the chair where Emma had curled up in. The vision of Emma sitting there had vanished and all she saw was an empty chair, reminding her that Emma wasn't there.

Emma was completely lost in the darkness. She was able to hear voices around her and couldn't identify them. It was as though they were all muffled. She wanted to shout and tell them that she was there, alive, in her body.

As the days had passed, the voices were becoming clearer and she could hear her mom, dad, Henry, Dr. Whale, and Regina. She wanted to tell Regina how sorry she was for running away like that. She wanted to tell her how much she loved her and wanted to spend the rest of her life with her.

Regina couldn't take it and told everyone that she would be on temporary leave until Emma woke up, if she ever did. She walked down the hallway of the hospital and reached Emma's bed. It was time for visitors to leave.

The Charmings had been there all day and it was time for them to leave. They brought Henry with them no matter how much he protested. He was tired and yawning, but still fought until he gave up.

The former Evil Queen sat down in a comfier chair that she had used magic to put next to Emma's bed. Nobody would dare to tell Regina to leave even though visiting hours were over. They knew Regina would've complied, but under the circumstances, that rule didn't matter.

She held Emma's hand in hers and stroked her hair. She leaned in close to Emma so that she was the only one that could hear what the older woman was about to say.

"You're such a foolish woman! You should've stayed and talked it out with me instead of running away. What was running through that head of yours as you ran? Do you know how worried you made all of us?"

She inhaled sharply, " I'm so sorry that our last conversation went the way it did. I don't want you to think that I don't love you because I do. Oh how I love you! I even love your deathtrap of a car and that hideous red jacket of yours."

There was a pause before she talked to Emma in her Evil Queen "voice", "Now you listen to me, Emma Swan, you wake up this instant! You need to stop making everyone worry about you. Henry misses his other mother, you parents miss you, and so does the entire town. As your Queen, I'm _commanding_ you to!"

Regina knew there was no point in saying that, but she hoped that it somehow reached Emma, wherever she was right now.

She tucked Emma's hair behind her ear and looked at her longingly.

She laid her head on Emma's stomach and started to sob as she clutched onto the blanket on Emma's body. It was as though everything she held in was finally coming out all at once. All the anger and pain she felt was finally releasing itself through her tears.

As she wiped her eyes, she looked down at Emma's face. She looked peaceful. What was the last thing on Emma's mind before Regina rescued her?

"Come back to me, Emma."

She bent forward to kiss Emma and the soft touch of Regina's lips on hers was supposed to awaken Emma immediately.

That was what was supposed to happen, but for some reason, it didn't.

Emma felt the kiss that Regina gave her, but didn't understand why she couldn't wake up.

Was she meant to suffer like this?

She was willing herself to wake up.

 _Regina needs you!_

"Why didn't it work, Emma? You're _my_ True Love."

Regina felt her shoulders slump. She wanted to kiss Emma until she woke up.

Did this mean Emma _wasn't_ her True Love?

No, how could she doubt herself at a time like this?

Something was wrong.

Emma was furious that she had to watch Regina _doubt_ that Emma didn't love her.

"What the hell is going on? I **am** Regina's True Love. I love her more than I love myself. I'm supposed to wake up!"

The blonde was shouting into the dark abyss. She didn't want to be alone anymore.

She saw a bright flash of light that nearly blinded her and then she felt a tug on her jacket. She looked down with a confused expression on her face as she realized that it was a younger version of herself.

"If this is some kind of joke…"

"It's me, silly." The little girl giggled. It was as though she was playing hide and seek.

"I have truly lost it."

"Emma you need to let go, that's why you can't wake up your holding onto many grudges you haven't fully forgiven, yourself, Regina, your parents, your past life you haven't fully forgiven or accepted it. You need to let go and you will wake up."

"I have let go!"

"If you had, then you would be awake by now."

An image of Regina appeared, she was looking so...broken.

Another image showed her parents by her hospital bed. Her mom was reading her a story with her dad. Henry was there too and telling her about what he did in school. Before he left, he asked her to wake up.

"I forgave Regina!"

"Out of fear of dying. You didn't know she was real."

Emma scowled. "That's not true."

"I'm you, so I know."

The blonde folded her arms and kept her eye on the little girl.

"I was angry at them for a long time. Mom and dad are trying to make up for lost time, but I still wished they could've found me. I wished they could've _saved_ me from everything I experienced!"

"Don't blame them, they did what was best for you. They love you, Emma. You remember that this is exactly what mom did when she found dad in the hospital. She didn't know who he was, but she stayed to spend time with him. Your parents are doing the same thing. They _do_ love you."

"I know it wasn't their fault." Emma laid a hand on the image of her parents reading. She wanted them to know what everything was going to be okay.

"Remember what mom always says?"

"I will always find you."

"And she did, didn't she?"

Emma nodded and felt her heart become a bit lighter.

"And Regina?"

The blonde's hand touched the image of Regina.

"I can't do this."

"There you go, running away again."

"I'm not running!"

"Then face your fears."

"I'm scared that she's going to leave just like all the others do eventually. If I left her first, it wouldn't be as painful or so I thought. I love her more than the oxygen in my lungs. Sure, she drives me nuts sometimes. Why hasn't she left? I kept pushing her away and she _still_ chased after my dumb ass."

"You know the answer."

"How can she love me after what I did to her?"

"She forgave you."

"She didn't have to."

"But she did."

Emma was searching Regina's face and locked onto her eyes. There was a deep sadness in them. She slowly fell on her knees.

"I want to go home."

"There's one more person to let go of."

"Who?"

"You."

An image of herself appeared and took the place of Regina's image.

Ever since Emma had lived in Storybrooke, she was learning about happiness and love. She saw it every day when she looked at Regina, her parents, and Henry.

She gave up her old life and there was no regrets. She had a _family_ , something she wanted all of her life. She finally found what she was searching for.

The little girl disappeared and a white door appeared before her.

"It's time to go home."

The instant she walked through the door, her eyes fluttered open.

"Oh thank the gods!" Snow said as she put the large book of Fairytales down. Charming rushed to Emma's side.

"Knock knock, I'm home." Emma said whispered.

Her parents were gushing all over her.

"You have the rest of your lives to do this."

Regina came into the room and almost spilled her coffee. She didn't look like herself with her disheveled hair and wrinkles in her clothing.

Snow and Charming left, giving them some time alone.

"Hey." Regina said.

"Hey yourself." Emma said weakly.

Regina went and sat on the edge of the bed as Emma sat up with a little difficulty.

"Looking good, Madam Mayor. You might set a trend."

"Emma, be quiet for a second." Emma tried to speak, but stopped herself when Regina held her hand up.

"I thought I lost you, for good this time. The moment you left my office...I thought we were done. I can't live without you, Emma Swan. I will put up with that hideous jacket of yours and that yellow monstrosity of a car. Please be mine again."

Regina leaned in close and their foreheads were touching.

"I never stopped being yours, Regina."

The kiss they shared was one of True Love.

This was something that only happened once in a lifetime.


End file.
